That’s right, we finally decided to talk about the Hollywood Chrises: Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Messina. You know we already covered (*snort*) Chris Evans thoroughly in our first season finale back in January (LISTEN HERE, ahem). [FYI: These are the only Chrises we acknowledge, and we will not be moved. Thank you for understanding.]
Pine? Pine is fine. Dassit. Well, okay, he’s a little bit more than just fine. We talked a little about his blue eyes and his kinda sardonic face, and his general gentle haughtiness(?) onscreen, and also his acne past. Like, we love a Hollywood makeover, you know? We also talked a little about his role as Jim Kirk, aka space’s busiest bachelor, as well as Bim’s favorite role of Pine’s, as a Strong Bearded Black Father in A Wrinkle In Time… Look, he’ll do in a pinch, okay? Like, he also cries about Important Black Films, and some days, that’s all you need from your crush. 🤷🏾♀️
We moved on to Hemsworth, he of the abs and the biceps and the BAWDY. Again, he’s an unexpected crush, because, neither of us is really into muscles per se, AND YET. The thing of it is, Hemsworth’s muscles aren’t the real draw, you know? It’s the softness apparent behind the hard, bulging, utterly improbable… cutness. He appears to have a sense of humor, he’s clearly in love with his wife and his babies, he’s evolved beyond the obvious jock stereotype, and did we mention he’s FUNNY? Bless. A person can do a lot worse than Lean In to a funny dude… Did you know: laughter is the cause of apparel-removal in as many as 87% of sexy times. 😂💦
Finally, we ascended Mount Chris Messina, a criminally overlooked Chris in the pantheon of Chrises, and the Chris that most delivers shivers to our spine, because he is a DYNAMO of a Thirst Object and we just have a lot of feelings, OK? FFS, LOOK.
Let us school you on why you have to stop overlooking that spark plug of a man. 1. Have you seen 28 Hotel Rooms? (It’s on Hulu.) 2. His mouth is a sin we want to commit over and over. 3. The motherfucker can dance. 4. Did you see him kiss Mindy Kaling in The Mindy Project? Boy..!
Shoutout to his hair, his mouth, his slim hips, and his furry chest 😛. The thing about Messina is that people forget how good he is at his job – he is an EXCELLENT actor (see him in Ira and Abby, Away We Go, Argo, The Giant Mechanical Man, Julie and Julia, Sharp Objects, AND SO ON) and he’s so unfussy about it that it lulls you into a false sense of ‘oh, everything is fine” but it is NOT FINE. He’s a dynamo. The competence kink is real, y’all. 💦
Additionally, Fanfic Wars is back! Did you miss the drabbles? We sure did. Things were a mix of real silly and mildly angsty this week, so prepare accordingly. You can listen to the whole episode RIGHT HERE (more links to listen are down below).
This is how Nichole, a thirst scholar, appreciates a well-placed bracelet
We’re on Twitter at @bimadew and @tnwhiskeywoman; the show is on Twitter at @thirstaidkit. Send us your Thirst Sommelier requests at 765-884-4778 aka 7658-THIRST (international listeners: send us a short recorded message via email, please) and your (short!) drabbles at thirstaidkit@buzzfeed.com. Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, please, because WE LOVE IT.
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The news continues to be trash. Why don’t you go vote if you’re American, and slake your thirst as often as you can, huh? It’s the right choice! 🥤🗳💦
